1) Staying Connected On Social Media
This is never a good thing as people generally find themselves glued to their ex’s profile to see their exploits. Seeing your ex having fun with others only makes things worse for you and consequently, doesn’t give you the time you so badly need to spend away from them. If you’re connected to them on the Gram or Facebook, you’ll keep getting updates on who they’re spending time with or where they are and you’ll only feel worse about it all.
Additionally, you may even feel it necessary to make comments on their status updates or pictures. STOP! First things first… unfriend them! Now you’ll have the time to put them out of your mind and concentrate on your life, thankfully without constant reminders.
2) Texting, Calling, DM-ing Or Emailing The Ex
This is another big one. For most people the need or want to communicate with the ex is overwhelming when they first split up, as they’re so used to speaking to them on a daily basis. A good thing to do would be to either remove their number from your phone or make a vow that you won’t be calling them at 2am in the morning drunk. Drunk-dialling is not only a bad idea, but it’ll make the situation far more awkward, adding more hurdles in your way. Text message bombardment is also a No-No. Keep those thumbs busy doing something else… video games perhaps!? Seriously, give them space!
3) Staying In Feeling Sorry For Yourself
Playing the victim. Nobody likes that, not even you. Get up, get showered and changed and get out! Start doing things with your time. Fun things. Things you couldn’t or didn’t do when you were in the relationship. Take up a new sport or hobby, join a club, meet new people and as a bonus make some new friends. Get out and socialise, catch up with old friends and most of all ENJOY your free time. Try being totally selfish and treat yourself. Do something you want to do or visit a new place. Travel. Make the most of your time and learn to be happy single.
4) Not Eating Or Eating Too Much
When people go through a trauma like separation and heartache, it can have an adverse affect on their appetite and ultimately their bodies. It’s important to keep a regular meal time and not go too far off the routine, so you keep your energy up and help fight the mental depression. Eat healthy. Healthy body, healthy mind and all that. It’s far too easy to either give up eating or eat junk all day. Maybe learn a few new recipes. This could become a new hobby or passion. Just eat right everyday.
5) Jumping Straight Into Another Relationship
This one is all too common. After a long term relationship break up, you really need time to get your head together and get used to being single again. You need to spend time working on yourself and healing your heartache. It takes time. Really you want to spend time with yourself and getting used to it all again, as you’re probably still too hurt to really let go of your ex. It won’t end well for either of you and your new partner will soon see you’re not completely over your ex.
Take all the time you need and definitely don’t rush into anything. Once you’re feeling a bit better, try dating different people. Nothing serious, just enjoy being around the opposite sex and laughing again. Having fun is the key.
Are you making mistakes in your relationship break up?
If you’ve done any of these let us know. It’s not the end of the world but it can put a hurdle in the way of you getting your ex back. They can slow your progress right down and so we strongly recommend avoiding these top 5 mistakes.
Why not get in touch and let us know your thoughts. Are you making other mistakes with your ex girlfriend, boyfriend, husband or wife? Are you going through a bad breakup or divorce and struggling to cope? Send us your story and if you’re happy, we can post them on the site here and I’ll respond so we can subsequently help others.
In the mean time, take the edge off with this calming 10 minute mindfulness meditation video.
More importantly, take care of yourself.
*Updated February 2018