1) Staying Connected On Facebook/Twitter
This is never a good thing as people generally find themselves glued to their ex’s profile to see their exploits. Seeing your ex having fun with others only makes things worse for you and doesn’t give you the time you so badly need to spend away from them. If you’re connected to them on Facebook, you’ll keep getting updates on who they’re spending time with or where they are and you’ll only feel worse about it all. You may even feel it necessary to make comments on their status updates or pictures. STOP! First things first… unfriend them! Now you’ll have the time to put them out of your mind and concentrate on your life, without constant reminders.
2) Texting, Calling And Emailing The Ex
This is another big one. For most people the need or want to communicate with the ex is overwhelming when they first split up, as they’re so used to speaking to them on a daily basis. A good thing to do would be to either remove their number from your phone or make a vow that you won’t be calling them at 2am in the morning drunk. Drunk dialling is not good and will only make the situation more awkward. Text message bombardment is also a No No. Keep those thumbs busy doing something else… video games perhaps!
3) Staying In Feeling Sorry For Yourself
Playing the victim. Nobody likes that, not even you. Get up, showered and changed and get out! Start doing things with your time. Fun things. Things you couldn’t or didn’t do when you were in the relationship. Take up a new sport or hobby, join a club. Meet new people, make new friends. Socialise. Catch up with old friends. Enjoy your free time and be selfish. Do something you want to do or visit a new place. Travel. Make the most of your time.
4) Not Eating Or Eating Too Much
When people go through a trauma like separation and heartache, it can have an adverse affect on their appetite and ultimately their bodies. It’s important to keep a regular meal time and not go too far off the routine, so you keep your energy up and help fight the mental depression. Eat healthy. Healthy body, healthy mind and all that. It’s far too easy to either give up eating or eat junk all day. Maybe learn a few new recipes. This could become a new hobby or passion. Just eat right everyday.
5) Jumping Straight Into Another Relationship
This one is all too common. After a long term relationship break up, you really need time to get your head together and get used to being single again. You need to spend time working on yourself and healing your heartache. It takes time. Really you want to spend time with yourself and getting used to it all again, as you’re probably still too hurt to really let go of your ex. It won’t end well for either of you and your new partner will soon see you’re not completely over your ex. Take all the time you need and definitely don’t rush into anything. Once you’re feeling a bit better, try dating different people. Nothing serious, just enjoy being around the opposite sex and laughing again. Have fun.
Are you making mistakes in your relationship break up?
If you’ve done any of these let us know. It’s not the end of the world but it can put a hurdle in the way of you getting your ex back. They can slow your progress right down and so we strongly recommend avoiding these mistakes. Get in touch and let us know your thoughts. Are you making other mistakes with your ex girlfriend or boyfriend. Going through a bad breakup or divorce and are struggling to cope? Send us your story and if you’re happy we can post them on the site here to help others.
Take care, Mike.
*Updated February 2018