This website is dedicated to showing you how to fix a broken relationship, as something that weighs heavily on a lot of peoples minds, especially after recently going through a break up. Discover ways to fix a relationship you hadn’t thought of! My own breakup sparked me to help others, as I really struggled initially, that was until I found some awesome help and advice.
Ways To Fix A Relationship
First things first, you need to take stock of where you are and come to terms with it. You need to accept that the relationship is now over. (Easier said than done I appreciate if you only recently got dumped). As much as it hurts to say it and think about it, you’re not together anymore. You’re no longer a couple. You’ve separated and your ex wants some space from you. The only thing I can say to help you get this part is… suck it up! Once you’re over this hurdle… and I know it’s huge, you’ll start to get some perspective. Then you can be open to advice and help, to fix your relationship.
Understand Where Your Relationship Went Wrong
Once you realise it’s over, the sooner you can work on getting back with them. But first, you need to take some time for yourself, to help you understand why the relationship ended in the first place. Set some time aside to do some reading on this subject, because you’ll find it incredibly cathartic. Relationships break up for all kinds of reasons, but most of them fail because of only a small number of major issues. Now you understand where it all went wrong and how you contributed to the break up, you can reflect on how may may approach things differently in a relationship in future. It’s viatally important in this stage that you don’t contact your ex at all. That means no text/email or calls!
Focus On You
Now you need to get back to your roots and get stuck into your life again. This is a great opportunity to be completely selfish and do those things that you didn’t get chance to do before or couldn’t because you were in a relationship. Start a new hobbie or interest. Join a club. Try a new sport. Get out and meet new people. Catch up with old friends and family and make new friends. Most of all have fun and start building your life again or immerse yourself more in your passions if you already have hobbies,interests etc. Start going out and socialising and surround yourself with people. You’ll soon have a full social calendar before you know it. Keep up the no contact with your ex routine and give them time to reflect on your relationship. You might find after a while they try to find out how you’re doing. IT’s best to be polite and stay busy. You don’t want to get caught up with them just yet. Continue having fun without them for a while. Enjoy your freedom!
Remember To Smile!
So now you have a new found confidence and you’re starting to laugh again and enjoy other people, why not try some harmless flirting with the opposite sex (or same sex depending on your preference). A good place to start if it’s been a while and you’re struggling with this step, is to give someone you like a nice smile. This will generally always get you a smile back, even if it’s short lived, it’ll make you feel good. Try not to smile for more than a few seconds before looking a away, if they’ve seen you looking. You don’t want to come across creepy! Look away afterwards and then glance back to see if they’re still looking. Smile again if they are.
Single And Ready To Mingle
If you’re good and manage to get chatting and their number… get a date, go enjoy yourself! Keep it casual and nothing serious at this stage. This will give you another confidence boost that you’re still attractive and desirable to others. If you’re worried about dating again or you feel it’s too soon, take some more time for yourself until you feel comfortable. There’s no need to rush anything and you’ll know when the time’s right for you. At this point you can research some dating techniques and tips to help you along if you want to.
So, you’ve come a long way since the break up. You’ve done well. Really well. You’ve accepted it and looked at why the breakup happened. You’ve realised the part you played and the part your ex played. You can see what wasn’t happening enough and you’ve corrected for that. You’ve put them to the back of your mind as much as possible and jumped straight into having fun and having a life again. You’re feeling more confident than ever and you’ve even started flirting and dating. Well done!! Give yourself a big pat on the back. Treat yourself to something nice. A new cologne or perfume. Some new clothes. Get your hair cut/styled. These also have the added benefit of making you more confident.
Contact The Ex?
So, you may be enjoying your new found confidence and freedom and may have forgotten about your ex! Probably not, but you may have decided at this point that actually you’d prefer to stay single or date other people. That’s absolutely fine and ultimately only you and your heart know what’s best for you. If you’re happy, weigh up the pros and cons of being single vs going back to the ex.
If you’re still of the opinion that you’d rather be back with the ex then it’s time to arrange a meeting. A simple text to ask if they’re ok and if they’d fancy meeting you for a coffee (keep it to a brief drink and nothing more for the first meeting) will suffice. If they don’t respond or don’t seem sure, keep doing what you’re doing and having you’re own life and leave it another week. Then try again.
Time For A Drink
If they go for it, you want to arrange a drink (preferably alcohol free, during day time where there are plenty of people around – a coffee is ideal) and keep it brief. 30-40 minutes tops. Don’t get bogged down in the old relationship. Keep the conversation light and talk about fun things for instance what you’ve been up to. You want to instigate the end of the meeting so you don’t come across desperate still and you need to remain happy all the way through. When it comes to the end you can suggest another meeting if you felt it wen ok and maybe suggest another drink or perhaps a lunch the following week. The aim is to take it slowly and avoid alcohol. Keep going for daytime dates.
If you want a full step-by-step guide on how to win your ex back I recommend TW Jackson’s amazing book The Magic Of Making Up. The above advice is a very condensed and basic guide. If you want to stand the best chance and learn how to save a broken relationship check out the book from my homepage link or if you’re still undecided, please look at my Magic Of Making Up Review page for a more in-depth insight into what the book contains before you decide.
It is so amazing how relationship world it can be so wonderful and then on the other hand it becomes something that you wishing you were not a part off. You article is great and well detailed and wil cause persons to understand this whole thing about relationship and how to fix it if it ever gets broken. Thanks for sharing and have a good day.
Thanks for the comment Norman!
That’s my goal, to help people find the best information and information that I’ve used myself (so I know it works).
If I can save a relationship or a family from breaking up/to help people get back together if it’s right, then I’ll be a happy bunny!
All the best with your relationship for the future,
Great tips. I think it’s one of the most painful you can go through went you go through a breakup. It almost feel like your life is over. No wonder so many people do the ultimate act. Although it’s not the best solution.
I went through breakups myself too. So I know the feeling. And I agree with you. The best thing to do it’s to study what went wrong in the relationship and what to do to make the next one work. And it’s start by being yourself again and gain confidence.
I’m interested now in any advice that concern the relationship between a man and a woman and even sex advice with this. Because I want my present relationship to continue to work. That’s how I found your site.
Thanks Guy, that’s much appreciated!
I think everyone can relate to feeling like life is over when you break up, especially when you’re the one who didn’t want to split up and got dumped by your ex.
It’s good and also cathartic to actually figure out what went wrong so you can learn from it and improve yourself for future relationships.
I hope the site helped you Guy and I wish you all the best.
I think that focusing in yourself is so important. When my marriage ended I had to make sure that I was in a good place before moving on and dating again. And even if my intent was not to date, it is important to make sure that I was happy with me and where I was in my life. I think it is important to do this even while in a relationship. It is hard to be a good partner when you don’t feel good about yourself!
Hi Ilyssa and thank you for your input, it’s much appreciated.
I totally agree with you and I like your point about being happy with yourself even whilst in the relationship. Very true!
I’d just like to mirror those statements you added for others reading this and say it really is about getting yourself back to that place where you feel good again. What you believe on the inside, shows on the outside. People notice the difference and so will your ex.
I hope you’re in a much better place now and doing well? Feel free to come back anytime and let us know.
Take care and thanks for contributing Ilyssa.
How can I have no contact when all i want to do is speak to her and to know what she’s doing and who she’s with… I’m reallty struggling with this. I don’t know if this will work like you say. It’s so hard to cut all ties. What if she gets with someone else and I don’t know about it?
Hey Danny, sorry to hear about your break up and thank you for the question.
I totally agree with you that this is probably the hardest part of the journey. Breaking contact with your ex is difficult, but necessary if you’re looking to win her back. If you can admit to yourself you’re no longer a couple and say to yourself that you have to cut ties initially in order to have her back again. Needs must and all that, but it’s a necessity. You need to get back to a good place and then she can see you as an attractive option.
I would recommend surrounding yourself with friends and family when you can and getting out and doing more with friends. Try to keep your mind busy whilst you start on the road back to the relationship. I would definitely recommend T Dubs helping hand in this instance as it sounds like you could use it. I know definitely needed it and am so glad I got his book.
Ultimately it’s about you now and you need to work on your feelings and outlook. You need to take time for you and hey, why not start being a bit selfish and doing things perhaps you haven’t been able to do, or have always wanted to do. Start trying new things, hobbies, interests etc. Meet new people. Just make sure you start helping yourself feel better and eventually you’ll start to have fun again.
I hope that helps Dan (hope it’s ok to call you Dan!) and that you start to feel like you’re not on this journey alone. Reach out to people if you’re struggling and definitely read T Dubs wise ways to fix a relationship. You’ll be glad you did.
Take care of yourself and don’t forget we’re rooting for you!
Can i still get my girl back even if its been some time since we spoke n i acted all desperate? scared i lost her for good now. Bin no contact for a while, thanks
Hi JayJay and thanks for taking the time to comment!
I would say there is most definitely every chance you can still get your girlfriend back if you implement T Dubs instructions. I read in one case that one guy got back together with his ex after several years by following the Magic of Making Up steps, so it goes to show what’s possible.
If you’re worried that you might have acted out of desperation to get your ex back, then don’t worry too much. Yes it probably would have initially pushed your ex away from you, however, it’s a really common mistake made by lots of people before you and there’ll be lots more that make it after you. T Dub talks about one such mistake called “Text Message Terrorism” where you bombard your ex with calls/texts/emails looking for answers or begging them to get back with you. It’s something your ex isn’t going to want to deal with and may not respond at all to you.
You can rectify this and start to reverse the negative effect this has had. If you follow the first step on T Dubs site called “The Opening Move” then you’ll see what I mean. Here’s a link to the Video on the front page of this website… scroll down toward the bottom of the page and you’ll see it there.
Hopefully this will set your mind at rest and get you on the way to getting your girlfriend back.
I wish you all the best and let me know how it turns out for you JayJay…
We’re rooting for you!
When you brake up with your partner it’s better to have no contacts at all to be able to forget your ex effectively, but in time some people suffer from regrets and would be eager to fix their relationship. This may not apply to everyone but for the most yes. If it’s worth to work it out then why not.
Hello Lee and thanks for the comment!
Well, to start with it’s probably better to have some time and space to yourself to reflect on what happened and why you’ve broken up with your ex. Use this time to learn what mistakes were made and how you can improve things for a future relationship. Do some research online about the top reasons why couples break up.
When couples realise they have a broken relationship and want to fix it, it’s good to understand the causes on each side as both sides no doubt contributed. Having no contact with each other allows for time and reflection and allows the other to be missed. This can help eventually draw you back together, but changes must be made first. Not your character as I think that’s an incredibly hard thing to change, but your emotions. You need to become grounded and not stressed/desperate and panicking that they don’t talk to you/see you.
I agree, if you both believe things can get better then why not work through them and help yourselves get back together. if you can fix your broken relationship and make it stronger than ever then why not!? Others have to find out for themselves if they really want to continue in a relationship or if they would be better moving on to something new.
This is why the time and space element is important, but most important is to be happy. Get back to that happy place on your own first then you can makes others happy.
I hope that helps, Lee and thank you again for your comments.
Take car and ‘rootin for ya’,