When you are in a relationship with someone you aren’t really happy with, sometimes it can be difficult to leave. Maybe you feel insecure or you don’t want to hurt your partner. No matter what the reason is for hanging on, if you are truly not in love with your partner or know that he is just not going to be “the one”, it’s time to do some soul searching.
Take some time to think
Don’t just rush into a decision on the matter. Chances are you’ve been thinking about the situation some, but really take a season and contemplate your relationship. How are you really feeling? What is really going on? You might even want to attend counseling in order to get someone else’s perspective on the matter. It could just be that you are upset with yourself and are projecting onto your partner. Do not rush into making a rash decision.
Make a pro vs con list
Sometimes making a pro vs con list can help you evaluate the reality of the situation. You might notice that the pros well outweigh the cons, which may help you to decide to stick with your partner and simply work on the cons. Although if the cons outweigh the pros by a lot, you might want to consider the possibility that you just are not a match.
Have a heart to heart
It will help if you, sit down with your partner and have a heart to heart. Maybe he is feeling the same way as you or maybe he is willing to do some changing in the areas that you are not pleased with. Be honest and open because if you hold back or lie, it will not help matters at all and you’ll still harbor negative feelings about the relationship.
Go to couples counseling
It’s always a good idea to go to a couple’s counselor when your relationship is struggling. Counselors have been trained to pin point trouble spots in relationships and can offer valuable insight. It might take a handful of sessions or more, but committing to a season of counseling may be just what you need.
Separate for a while
Should you decide you really want to leave your partner, you can opt to separate for a while and see how you feel. You might find out that you really miss your partner and want to try to work things out or you might feel free and happy single. You can discuss your feelings with your partner and see if he feels the same way.
Leaving someone you are not happy with can be quite difficult. Most people have had to do this at least once in their lives for a variety of reasons. Know that no matter what you decide, you will be alright and there are always lessons to learn when it comes to relationships. Keep this in mind as you move forward with or without your partner.