Why Do Women Think They Can Change Men?

canstockphoto1879410The beginning of a relationship is often so invigorating, exciting, and usually full of romance and love.  Falling in love is a time that many people cherish and can’t get enough of, but the reality of relationships is that after a time it begins to simmer down and lose steam.  Sure, the honeymoon phase is great, but after a while, annoying habits are noticed, bad attitudes may surface, and the desire to be together ALL of the time lessens.

It is quite normal for relationships to change over time and it is common that arguments and disagreements enter into the picture. Most couples adapt to the changes in a healthy manner, but sometimes a couple’s relationship becomes unhealthy.

Sometimes a woman will remain in an unhealthy relationship because she thinks that she can change her partner.  She may love him or she may have lost all love for him, but she sticks by his side for one reason or another.  Some women stick it out for years and years and really never do change their partners and end up spending a lot of years in misery.

The truth of the matter is that a woman cannot really change her man.  She can only change herself and her behavior or reaction to her partner.  A man is different from a women and for women to think they can change men to be more like them is a false expectation and sets her up for failure.  It is true that men can change certain behaviors if they really want to and make the effort, but too many women try to change their man to meet their expectations and end up heartbroken.

When no change occurs after trying all sorts of tactics to produce change, some women will leave their man, but other women will continue to stay in an unhealthy relationship due to a variety of reasons. Perhaps she is afraid of starting over alone or she feels that her man is hers and no one else can have him. Maybe she is financially dependent upon him or she doesn’t want the kids to have to handle a divorce.  Or perhaps she really does believe in her mind that she can somehow help him to change.

Women are master manipulators and some women get it in their minds that they can manipulate a relationship so it is the way she wants. She believes she can control her partner and even her children.  Sometimes this works and sometimes it doesn’t.  When it doesn’t and a woman is unhappy in an unhealthy relationship, the couple ought to communicate with each other to try to come to a solution.

Communication is one of the most important characteristics of a relationship.  If you don’t like something about your partner, tell him politely. See if he will try to change it based upon your preference. If he doesn’t, do your best to let it go or if it is a deal breaker, then go. To stay in a miserable relationship doesn’t do anyone any good. You can’t always change your man; that’s the truth.

With openness, communication, and a plan, couples oftentimes get through their differences by either changing or accepting each other’s personalities and idiosyncrasies.  Part of growing together and individually is accepting each other for who you are- even if it isn’t exactly what you want.


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